My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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