Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
