508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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