If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
