We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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