I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
