Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize