So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
