Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
