her vagine was all disorganized.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
