Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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