Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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