obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
