I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
