So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
