I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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