I want to walk on stilts...naked
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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