anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
