I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
