i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
