I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I booty called her while she was in labor.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize