She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
