we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
