Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
