so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
