i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
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How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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