They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
