I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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