No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
