her vagine was all disorganized.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
