That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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