Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
