good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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