Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
