People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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