I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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