I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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