i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
