Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
