If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
