I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
