If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
