she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
