I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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