i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
