dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
