So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
