No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
