you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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