it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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