I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
