No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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