Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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