Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
