It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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