The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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