I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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