Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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