I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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