I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
