Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
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Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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