He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
