Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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