there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
