In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
