Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize