Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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